Sleep
by damnakin
Summary: A duel, a birth, and death. She has nothing, she feels nothing. Yet, he keeps hoping. It does him no good, for they both know she's too lost to return. -Padmé's body survives, but she feels her soul detaching. There's nothing left for her. Yet, Suit-less!Vader clings to frantic, lost hope that she might give him some emotional response. He'll learn there's always a price for hate.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** _Well, hello! This fic au idea came while listening to some good 'ol MCR. So, tell me what you think in the reviews! Thanks for reading!_

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Star Wars._

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><p>She stared at the white walls, knees to her chest. She had her arms wrapped around her legs as she leaned her head against the wall were she sat like a crumpled ball in the corner. Her hair was a curly, frizzy mess. Her white gown, wrinkled, from sitting on the floor for far too long. She refused to sit on the black satin bed that stands in the middle of the room.<p>

How much time had passed as she stared? Didn't really matter.

Her lips were dry, cracked. She licked them with a dry tongue, tasting blood. All she could ever taste now of days was blood. Innocent blood.

The blood of the younglings, all the Jedi, any killed in the process of Palpatine's rise.

Yet, the blood that tasted the most sour was from the bodies of her dead children.

A small sigh brushed out of her.

She could feel her body's strength and energy seeping out of her slowly. She did not care. Emotions were pointless now, silly, dramatic expressions that portrayed her heart that no longer mattered. But it mattered to _him_.

_He_ always came in, eyes blazing with desperation. His voice was always different, depending on what he felt. Sometimes his voice was angry, sometimes quiet. Every now and then, his voice would break and crack, just like her heart did when he had strangled her with the force on that hot, steaming planet. Sometimes he would cry. Sometimes he'd just sit and stare at her for hours. In the beginning, he played with her hair, sat her on his lap, or lay his head on her shoulder and breath in her scent as she sat unresponsive to his touch. Now, he stood far away from her. It hurt him to look at her.

She never really understood what he was saying, lost in her own little world of white. Her memories began to blank, for she could not handle them. It was too much pain to remember, so she simply didn't. Yet she did know, that at a time, she loved the man that came in everyday more than he could ever begin to understand.

"Padmé."

Her dull brown eyes flickered to the man in black that entered the room. It was the only response she was ever able to give him.

Vader stared at her with a blank face. His eyes hard and cold. His hair was clipped shorter than she remembered but not one hair was out of place. A burn covered the right side of his face, a wound from the battle he had won against Obi-Wan on Mustafar. What they did with Obi-Wan's body... Padmé wasn't sure.

"This is ridiculous." he snapped. "It's been nearly 3 months. You do nothing but sit here, not speaking. For Force sake, you have to be force fed. You are so incapable of the most simplest of tasks, _why_?"

He paced vigorously in front of her, face twisted into a nasty snarl.

"Why won't you just say something to me? I did all this for you!"

For once, his words hit her. She visibly flinched as her brain processed his last sentence. Vader instantly stopped moving, breath held as he stared at her.

She saw him crack. His cold eyes morphed into hope. He swallowed, tears already brimming. It was the first physical response she gave to him in months. He stepped towards her slowly.

"Padmé.." he said. "_Please_, my love. Say something, _anything_."

She couldn't, even if she wanted to. Her body was too weak. The pain would be too much to handle.

She looked away from him, her eyes staring at the wall behind him.

_I did all this for you._

Padmé closed her eyes, she was just so tired.

"Please.." his voice cracked. "I _need_ you."

She reopened her eyes. Vader was kneeling right in front of her. The pain on his face made her gut churn, she pitied him. She has felt the same pain.

He only stayed for an hour more. He stared until his heart could take no more and left.

She closed her eyes once more, and searched for sleep.

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: _Don't forget to review on what you thought._


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** _Hey, again. If you're actually reading this, thanks. This chapter is sort of like a memory._

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><p>Padmé remembered the first time her old friend had come to her.<p>

Going by Vader's words, it had been about 10 months before her life had plundered into despair. Vader rarely visited her anymore, the sight of her caused him such grief, he could not stand it.

Doctors regularly checked up on her on his orders, making sure her body was perfectly healthy. A therapist would come in every now and then again to get her to speak, but it never worked.

A hired handmaiden bathed her, clothed her, and fed her. The handmaiden was the only one who would talk to her anymore. Though Padmé never responded, the handmaiden, Lyen, would always acknowledge her. Sometimes Lyen would tell her wondrous stories she had never heard before, or about small, simple things that people normally wouldn't pay mind to. Padmé hung on to her words, anticipating whatever she had to share next. It made her feel something.. a fingernail of joy.

Lyen had just left, and Padmé had sat curled up on the satin bed. She had finally convinced Padmé to use the bed a few months back. Doing so brought a twinkle to Lyen's eyes.

She remembered when a blue haze morphed before her.

She remembered feeling a sense of right, warmth.

She remembered when the blue haze gave her a sad smile, and laid it's hand upon her forehead.

She remembered falling asleep... she remembered emotions.

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><p>Rocks floated around her, grass tickled her feet. The air was light and a sun shown above. Padmé stood in a field where the wind blew lightly against her face. It was strangely familiar to her.<p>

She wore the same white gown, but her body felt different. She felt strong, her hair had a brighter color, her skin not so pale.

"Padmé, it's good to see you."

She blinked, not noticing that someone was standing before her. "Obi-Wan." She breathed as his face finally hit her mind. He smiled in return.

With her body frozen in confusion, her lips said, "Where are we?"

"It doesn't matter, only that we are here." He looked around, peace coming off him in waves. "This place is strong with the Force."

"Yes," She too, looked around. "It's familiar."

"Because you have been here before." A new voice intervened.

"Qui-Gon?"

He looked the same as the day he died. Still tall, long hair, and eyes filled with hope. "You visited here, once. The Force brought you here through a dream."

Padmé bit her lip, somewhat surprised to find her lips not crackled. She thought back to all the dreams she had..

"Ah," A deep, unforgiving pain stabbed her gut. She crumbled to the ground, tears already brimming in her eyes. Obi-Wan stepped towards her, lending a hand on her shoulder. It was warm. "The.. Luke and Leia-" The though of them hurt.

"Yes." Qui-Gon answered. "The Force is strong with them. They showed the future, they showed promises."

"You were there, with me."

"I was."

At his short answer, she stood, Obi-Wan took a step away as she scrambled to her feet. "Did you- Did you know about _this_? What would happen?"

"The future is never for certain.." He hesitated. "Even if I did know the exact events that would happen, there is nothing I could have done to change it. Anakin-"

"Don't." She snapped, hot, white anger , that she didn't even know she had, exploded. "Don't you _dare_ say _his_ name." Obi-Wan bowed his head, feeling only grief.

Sympathy, and pity. Qui-Gon sighed. "Ignoring his name, or his very presence won't fix anything that has happened. His actions are understandable, but it does not mean that they are excusable. He can be forgiven, but the things he has done can never be forgotten. You have not allowed yourself to feel, therefor, your emotions are still fresh and burning. Especially for Anakin. We've brought you here, so you may find peace with everything that has happened. That you may rest."

"Peace.." Padmé mumbled. She almost laughed, but feeling too weak to. "How may I _ever _find peace?"

"I believe," Obi-Wan chirped, mood picking up. "That our first step should start now. _They _have been rather impatient waiting for you."

Before Padmé could even ask who, two beings phased before them. Both wearing white, and very young. Padmé could only guess they were in their late teen years. The shorter one had long wavy brown hair with a set of deep brown eyes. Her pink, full lips were pulled into a tooth-bearing smile. The taller one, had messy dark blonde hair and bright blue eyes full of innocence. With an excited smile, he looked down the girl, as if waiting for her move.

Padmé was positive she had never met them before, but they both looked too familiar for her comfort. "I-" Her eyes widened as she was struck with realization. She looked to Obi-Wan, was he seeing this?

Obi-Wan gave her a small nod accompanied with an encouraging smile. She wanted to scream that it was impossible. It seemed so impossible.

But she knew it wasn't, she knew nothing was impossible when it came to the Force.

She was crying and her hands shook. With her trembling hands, she laid a one on each of the faces of her children.

Luke looked _so_ much like his father.. it hurt. And Leia, so much like herself.

"Mother." Luke cried happily, covering her small hand with his larger one. He gave hers a squeeze.

"It took you long enough to come and visit us." Leia snorted with annoyance. But Padmé could see in her eyes unshed tears of happiness.

Her lip quivered and she sobbed loud and pulled her children close to her. She held so tight onto them, and they clung back.

She doesn't remember how long they stayed like that. But she does remember afterwards. For hours, she talked and kissed her children, braiding Leia's hair, even Luke's. Padmé was surrounded by so much love, it had been so long since she felt this way. She nearly cried when Leia braided her hair a certain way in return, telling her mother that it was her own signature little style. They had laughed and Padmé told them memories of when life was good, steering clear of the subject of their father. She even pulled over Obi-Wan. She hadn't seen in him so long, her last sight of him was on Mustafar. She mended the broken bonds between all she had thought she lost.

And she felt.

She was only fairly disappionted when Qui-Gon told her it was time to leave. She had enough joy in her heart to not feel an ache when departing. Besides,Padmé was promised more of times like this. She would be back.

With a kiss on the cheek to all, she went back to the world of white.

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><p>She remembered waking up, so much lifted off her shoulders.<p>

She had forgotten all about the cameras watching her in the room.

So when Lyen had come to Padmé in the morning, without a care in the world, she spoke.

"Lyen.." her voice was hoarse, so very rough from months without speaking.

Lyen jumped, eyes widening in shock. Her jaw dropped as Padmé managed a very small smile.

"I..." She coughed, throat dry. "Want to show you... how.. I want my hair braided.."

At least for a minute, she could exit the white and bring a touch of her children to the world where she lay in grief.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>_Thanks to whoever is reading this. It means a lot. Reviews mean a lot too, I really want to know what you guys think. I would respond to them, but I'm a too nervous too.. So thank you to those who did and those who do._


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **_Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews, I'm glad this story caught your attention. At first.. I was going to make this into a one-shot.. but then I had an idea thus Chapter 2 was born.. and now I think I'm going to do more. I have a few chapters in mind.. but I have no idea how far this is going to go. _

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><p>Padmé hummed as she sat in her bed, feeling jubilant. She was able to spend some good quality time with each twin as of late. She learned that Leia can be very passionate and caring, especially for those in need. Luke had a light innocence around him, and a taste for adventure. She adored her children and her heart swelled at the thought of them.<p>

Padmé had been visiting her passed friends and children for the last month now. Every night, Obi-Wan came to her and lead her away. He stayed most times, but when he didn't, he was off visiting friends he had lost that had not yet gave themselves up to the Force. Qui-Gon would visit, too. He spoke words wisdom and of of a better future. He preached that one day the darkness upon the galaxy would lift. Padmé was not sure of what to think of that.

She had not spoken since she showed Lyen how to do her hair. She felt no need to talk. She still repressed down the memories that sent shocks of horror and sorrow through her body. So Padmé only thought of her children, her friends. That made it better. But when they weren't enough to escape, she faded back into the white.

This was one of the few times since Obi-Wan visited her that she felt more than.. nothing. She liked these days.

She reached back, running her hand over her braided hair. Lyen did her hair like this everyday now. She was glad.

The door to her room slide open and Vader stood underneath it.

Immediately, the good feeling Padmé was bathing in evaporated. She could feel her eyes dull, her face sag. She said nothing as he entered with a grim face. He paced in front of her as he grimaced, holding his hands behind his back.

Padmé began reaching for her white world, she did not want to feel the pain that was to come.

"You spoke."

She only stared at him.

"I.." He stopped. Taking a deep breath, he clenched his fists. "I would have been here sooner.. but I had tasks that the Emperor assigned me that needed be finished."

She blinked.

"You..." He let out a breathless laugh, not a trace of humor emitting from it. "You actually spoke.."

Something told her he was deeply hurt that he was not the one she had first spoken to.

She did not care.

"Why.. why won't you just say _something_ to me? I _need_ you, Padmé. I cannot keep continuing to live this way." Vader was breaking. Padmé could see that. A part of her wish she could help him, and another part was glad he finally understood what she felt when he turned his back on her.. when he raised his fist and stole the air from her lungs. But she could not do anything to help him, even if she could, she wasn't sure she would.

The room began to shake, as it usually did when Vader was really emotional. He couldn't control his powers in such a state. Padmé pondered what would break first.

It was a glass table that shattered first. She had guessed the light from the ceiling above.

"Have I lost you? Have I truly lost you? Is my Master right? Oh, please, my love. Please say he isn't true." He was trembling, tears streaming down from his eye that was not apart of his burn. Padmé could not fully submerge herself in the white, so when the dull ache in her chest began to pulse, she closed her eyes.

She knew she loved him, somehow from somewhere deep inside of her. If she really let herself feel, she knew that she would forgive him. She would forgive the monster before her. She would still love him regardless of his actions. She would follow him anywhere.

Padmé did not want that. So she sat with the ache as the man before her shattered just like the table that sat in shards scattered around the floor.

She did not open her eyes when Vader stroked her face, skimming his fingers across her eyelids and lips.

She heard him heave. She hard him walk away.

Quite possibly, she heard the last part that was Anakin, without knowing, walk away.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> _I feel as though this has gotten cheesy_


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **_Hello! I thought I would answer a few questions from the reviews. _

_No, this story is not complete. Not sure how far I'm going to take it.. but definitely a few chapters more. But this is definitely focusing on Padmé and what she ultimately decides to do. I know some of you have spot on hit where I'm starting to waver with this, which path I'm going to go with Padmé. Alas, I am going to keep it a secret till the bang happens. ;)_ _And ah, I guess I wasn't to clear on what happened.. yes, the twins and Obi-Wan are dead. It was _so_ hard having to put that in. I love them so dearly, my sympathies for Padmé_. _I will explain what went wrong with the twins and Obi-Wan's final fall e__ventually! And with Padmé and the Force, I promise I will explain. :)_

_Thank you all for the reviews and actually reading the story! I am so happy you guys like it!_

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><p>It had been one year. One Coruscant year.<p>

A year since the Galaxy was warped into darkness.

One year since Palpatine declared himself ruler of all.

One year since she lost her friends, her family, her love.

One year since she lost herself.

And it did not phase her.

Padmé had begun to feel joyful outside of her dreams, she brought it out to caress with her heart in plain view. She was just so relieved to be able to escape the white at times. She had not thought of the consequences, for she assumed there was none.

Vader had only visited her once since he came pleading to her, since he came begging for her to speak to him.

If she could, she would have flinched. He was _so_ cold. She wanted to shiver when he stood above her. It felt icky, _wrong_. Everything about him was so _inhuman_.

_Everything_.

She wanted to curl up and hide. Padmé knew, that if she would have never began to feel in the outside world, his behavior would not have affected her. But since she did, she felt like a small rodent being crushed by a farmer's boot.

She remembered that she had loved him _so_ much. Now she feared him.

Now his sickly, yellow eyes haunted her.

So naturally, she quickly edged her way back into the ever so standing white space.

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><p>Her body was weak.<p>

Her hair was limp.

She was pale.

Her eyes were dull.

Padmé did not mind. She was never in the fragile body anyways. She was always away, always sleeping.

Like now.

Padmé laid a gentle hand on Luke's shoulder as he sat on the grass with his sister. She had just arrived, and was unaware of what the twins were speaking of.

"What are you two up to?"

Luke and Leia both smiled at their mother before exchanging a quick glance between themselves. Padmé stood in front of them, patiently waiting.

"We wanted to know something." Luke replied.

Padmé turned to Obi-Wan as he walked to stand beside her. Ah, so he had decided to stay this time. "And what might that be, I wonder?"

"Is it possible, for us," Leia gestured to herself and Luke. "To return to the real world?"

Obi-Wan frowned as Padmé's eyebrows squeezed together.

"To our corporeal bodies?" Obi-Wan stroked his beard. "No, we cannot."

"You mean," Qui-Gon phased beside him. "It is unheard of."

"Always here to defy the impossible I see."

"Master Jinn, pleasure to see you again. Are you staying with us this time?" Padmé was glad the man was here, this conversation was sure going to take an interesting turn.

"And a pleasure to see you, my lady. And yes." He turned to lift a brow at Obi-Wan. "The impossible? Through the Force, nothing is. It was once, branded impossible that one could return from the Force at all after death. And here we are."

"But our mother isn't dead, and she's here." Leia said. Padmé's heart was touched by Leia calling her mother, a gentle smile graced her face as Leia stared at Qui-Gon, waiting for an answer.

Qui-Gon crossed his arms. "You both had carried a significantly high rate of Midichlorians when being carried by your mother. Since your birth, and death, some Midichlorians were able to bond with Padmé. She has always been sensitive to the Force, as we all are, but she does not possess enough to become a Jedi. Yet, she had enough already, and the ones you passed on helped us to give her and us the strength to bring her here. When she dies, she will be able to join us here. Though she will not be able to travel to the outside world. She is not incomplete touch with her body, so it is with ease that we bring her here."

"And if she becomes one with her body again? What happens?" Leia too, crossed her arms.

"It might not be possible for us to bring her back as frequently if that were to happen. She could still visit, but it would be easier for us to go to her."

"Ah!" Luke blurted. "So we _can_ leave!"

"Wait," Padmé shook her head. "Who said I _wanted_ to stay with my body?"

They all turned to look at her.

"Why.. why _wouldn't_ you want to stay?" Luke asked innocently.

Padmé took a deep inhale before she looked at the ground and wrapped her arms around herself. "Things.. things are not.. they.." She sighed. She looked to Obi-Wan, barley able to offer him a glare. "Have you not told them?"

"We know." Leia intervened, annoyance obvious in her tone. "We know of the betrayal, the murders, we know of it all. We know what _he_ has done." Leia spat.

Luke gave a disapproving look to his sister. "_He_ is our_ father_, Leia."

Leia turned on her brother so fast, a hot spark in her eye. "He, is _not my father. _He has done nothing but brought horror into this world. Now there are those who are suffering and the Force is off balance. _Don't_ tell me that he-"

"There's still good in him!" Luke argued with an angry frown.

_There's still good in him._

Padmé felt as though she was spinning. In another world, in another time, she knew she would have said the same thing. so before she could even think about what she was going to say, the words slipped out. "He has not brought complete horror to the Galaxy. You are what he had help made. You are a blessing."

Leia stood, grinding her teeth. "And where are we? We aren't even alive! He killed us! _Why_ are _you_ even defending him? You won't even speak his name!"

Padmé sunk back, turning her head as though she had been slapped. Qui-Gon watched the quietly and Obi-Wan placed a hand on Padmé's shoulder. Padmé reached and gave his hand a squeeze, knowing this was just as hard on him as it was her.

"Yes, look at us Leia!" Luke stood too. "We are not dead, we are alive in the Force. We can still make a difference. All is not lost!" He grabbed his sister's hand, ignoring the hatred that swam in her eyes. "Don't let your hate consume you, please. You're better than that."

Leia ripped her hand away from him. "Unbelievable." Before more could be said, she phased away.

Luke sighed. "She's only angry. Let her cool off, she didn't mean what she said." He turned to them all. He reached to touch his mother's hand. "Are you alright?" The concern in his familiar blue eyes stung Padmé.

"Yes, Luke," She gave a watery smile. She remembered that on another man, those blue eyes were now only yellow. "I'm fine."

Luke turned to Obi-Wan. "Ben?"

"I'm alright." Obi-Wan bowed his head to him.

Still wary, Luke took a step back and placed his hands behind his back. "Qui-Gon, so it _is_ possible to return?"

Qui-Gon wasn't thrown off by the sudden change of topics so he easily responded. "Yes, but with our bodies, no. Obi-Wan is just learning how to return. You and your sister will both learn in time as well. But.." He stroked his beard, a habit that was much like Obi-Wan's, Padmé wondered if it was a pass of habit, or one that all men with beards did?

"I will have to meditate more into this. It is a possibility I have thought of before, but never looked that far into it."

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "Perhaps, a visit to Yoda is in order? And perhaps, the Emperor himself?"

Padmé's neck snapped trying to look directly at Obi-Wan. Was he _mad_?

He raised his hands before anyone could speak. "The information he carries, if there is_ any_ way we could obtain it.."

"A bold plan. One unlike you, my apprentice." Qui-Gon gave a sly smile. "But one definitely worth trying."

"Well once you've been around Anakin enough-" Obi-Wan faltered before he really could even begin. The humor that began to take his voice evaporated. Padmé this time reached out to Obi-Wan to squeeze his arm. She held back the tears that threatened to escape.. just his name affected them so greatly..

"A plan you're going to do yourselves, or can we assist?" Luke quickly dove in to change the topic, saving Padmé and Obi-Wan from the sorrow that began to over take them.

"We'll see."

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><p>It had been an hour. Leia still had not returned. Qui-Gon had left with Obi-Wan to begin forming the basics their plan. He promised to be back soon to return Padmé back to her body.<p>

They sat in the grass, Luke and Padmé. Leaning on one another.

Padmé spoke quietly, with great effort as she said these words. "You know.. your.. father.. he didn't kill you.." Or didn't _mean_ to.

Luke smiled sadly, closing his eyes as he nuzzled his head in her hair. "I know mother, I know. There's still good in him. I_ know_ it."

Padmé swallowed down vomit, feeling sick from sadness. "It was an accident.. he didn't mean to.." He didn't mean to _hurt her_.

She could feel hot tears run down her face.

"He.. he thought that he needed to save me... he didn't mean to hurt me.. he didn't mean to hurt you. He loved us so much." She began to hyperventilate, clinging on to Luke as she did so.

"He didn't know the dark side would harm you, he didn't know it would kill you! But he did, oh he did." She began to sob onto Luke's shoulder. Finally letting herself cry after a year. Luke held on to her, gently stroking her hair.

He kissed the top of her head as she cried. "I know." He whispered. "And we still love him."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>_Also, if you find some flaws with my character detail, please, please, tell me! I am trying my best to portray the characters as themselves, and not having my point of view getting in the way. It can be difficult to get the exact personality of a character, so if you have any advice, I am willing to take it!_

_(I'm going to do some flashbacks to I can really clear up what happened, soon)_


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